Nazi Prison Camp

From: 
Story type: Past Life Experience
Location: 
Source: Form Submission
Date submitted: Wed Dec 30 03:00:53 2009

When I was a teenager and young adult I used to love to go to the old cemeteries to see the old headstones with the families buried together and to read the dates and the sentiments written on them. I realized at the time that it was sort of a strange hobby especially for a young person. I was also determined all of my adult life that when I died I would make sure that I would be buried with the nameless, in an unmarked mass grave, like a 'potter's field' location. Also sort of an odd choice, but I really felt as if I needed to be buried in that fashion. I have actually had many past lives come to me over the years but it was only recently that the life just before this one was finally revealed to me.

I was in a Nazi concentration camp as a polish Jew. I was a young male in that life (I am female currently) and I was determined to survive my time in the camp. I was very strong and very determined that I would do whatever it took to survive there. Because I was young and strong I could work and worked at one point disposing bodies gathered from the gas chambers and other locations. I know that some of the people who were gassed were not always totally dead when they were collected for disposal and that the Nazi guards would shoot them or I saw them step on their throats. I have to say that they enjoyed this, being cruel and in power, it made me so sick.

I did this work because I thought that I wanted to survive. I remember feeling that these dead were at least now in some sort of peace and that I was not, I was in agony. I remember feeling that every time a Nazi soldier killed, or tortured others that his soul was severely damaged and that they were killing their own souls as opposed to the prisoners whose bodies were all that was killed. I was aware that these mass pits where we put the bodies WERE NOT GRAVES! Such guilt haunted me that we were actually COVERING UP THE EVIDENCE OF NAZI MURDERS, body by body. My soul was in agony that none of these people were buried with their families, no honor, no dates, no sentiment, NO NAMES! Surviving family members would never know what happened to them or where their bodies were hidden! I was always hungry and there was so much heavy work with very little food.

Eventually my desire to survive disappeared, I could no longer do what I was doing to assist the Nazis by hiding their crimes. I stood at the edge of one of the mass 'graves' and said something like "I refuse to go on killing my soul, working for you." I was so thankful when they shot me-it was over. I made sure that I was next to the 'grave' so that no-one had to drag my body over to it, I just fell into it and was so thankful to finally be with them!

What comes to mind about that life is; Life without honor is not life.